margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
