I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
