it was like his penis was on wheels.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
