maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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