erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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