I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
