I hate all girls vehemently.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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