I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize