I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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