turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
