just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize