Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
