To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
