you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
