32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
