Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
