i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
