i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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