apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
