first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
