dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
What drink are we having for lunch?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
