If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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