would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize