oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
