Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
