Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
