STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
