This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
