The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize