i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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