I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Randomize
