guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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