I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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