summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
