with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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