It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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