What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I intend to get homeless drunk
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
