I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
her vagine was all disorganized.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
