we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
