I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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