Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
