Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
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