I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
My ATM looks so different sober.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Randomize
