What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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