just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
