i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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