I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
