You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
