Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Randomize