the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
