Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
