i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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