Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
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