It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
