my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I have aggressive nipples.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
