Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
i think i just naturally attract stoners
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
