A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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