I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
