Say something about gay babies.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
