I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
