I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize