Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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