Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
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