i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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