A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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