So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
