Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
