69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Everclear isn't food dammit
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
