So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Randomize
