The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
