Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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