Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
