Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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