drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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