I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
