I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
