I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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